Things that annoy the piss out of me.

Asked "What pisses you off?" Things that piss me offThis is just a random rant that is completely unprovoked. :3
1. Walking around the house in socks and finding the only wet spot in the kitchen.
2. People that say 'YOLO' and 'Swag'. You sound like a massive douche. -_-
3. Dear slowest walkers in the world. Please do not form an impassable wall in front of me. Sincerely, Stuck behind you.
4. 'Please hold the line and enjoy this 40 minute rendition of 'The Rite Of Spring'.
5. Selfies. Even the fucking WORD annoys me. How many times must you take a photo of yourself? We get it. You need to be told you're beautiful.
6. Hearing people chew with their mouths open. I swear to God, this fork is going to end up in your cranium. >:c
7. Hand dryers. A 30 second blast of air that doesn't do shit so I end up wiping my hands on my jeans. EVERY. BLOODY. TIME.
8. 'Username or password incorrect.' Y U NO TELL ME WHICH ONE IT IS?? :iconyunoguyplz:
9. Waiting for a website to load and when you get bored of waiting and close the browser, it loads.
10. Lots of things actually. Here's a few of the highlights.



1. Partially waking up in the morning because the program that is on the telly (which I leave running all night because utter silence irritates me) has invaded my dream and I now think that I'm in the show and the cops are chasing me. SOOOO I leap out of bed to get away and slam face first into the door.

2. Girls that like, talk, right, like this, okay? Cause they think that it makes them sound really cool. I can quite happily tell you that it doesn't. It actually sounds like one hemisphere of your brain is malfunctioning. Please feel free to sit astride the third rail and correct the problem, I'm sure no one will mind.

3. Thin idiots, that look as though they weigh exactly the same today as they did on the day that they were born. The very same idiots who are so thin and healthy that they have somehow become invisible to fat cells, and because of this ability now honestly believe that they have all the answers to obesity. Whereby they would happily make an idiotic commercial and repeat some of the self righteous drivel that they have been paid to read out over the airwaves, to all of those fat bastards out there that struggle with something that the thin prick actually knows nothing about. Yeah right, like you've walked a mile in their shoes you anorexic bloody stick insect.

4. That overseas number that keeps ringing me five or six times a day to ask me dumb arsed questions. I really don't see any reason why I should talk to some random guy in India about my solar panels. Which is why I told him to get his own and hung up.

5. Free range farts in the lane right next to the laundry detergent. I walk straight into the bastard every damn time.

6. Tinned cat food that smells like someone just so happened to catch one of those free range farts and is now attempting to pass it off as high quality cat food. The number of times that Lexxi has turned and looked back at me with that "you honestly think that I'm going to eat that?" look on her face...

7. Girls with that almost permanent slapped bitch face look. I have no idea what I did to make you look at me like that, but whatever it was you probably deserved it.


That will do for now.